Call Your Daughter

black or white
I can't help who I am.
I am your son
you made me
I didn't ask
for any of this.
So go ahead,
let everyone know how disappointing I am,
tell the world that I failed you.
But don't leave out the part where
you abandoned me.
Make sure you tell them about all of my interest,
if you can.
When you're looking for money at the end of the month,
call your daughter.
Maybe she'll come around
and not treat you like shit.
Or call your sisters.
But if you happen to find yourself neck deep
in desperate measures
and my name comes across your mind.
Remember where you left me
I wont be hard to find.

Sara (I Miss You Too)

It's true
She has riddles on her walls
written on maps
in invisible ink
It's true
She has a cut out of James Dean
it makes me look twice
every time
I see it.
It's true
She has lightning
somewhere deep inside
of her.
On her arms
On her stomach
On her soul
It's true
Her tattoos
Sing a song
But I don't know which one.
She won't tell me.
It's true
Sara,
I Miss You Too

10 Years

It's not like I expect you to read this
friend.
because i know you wont.
You don't see what I see.
You don't live how I live.
I could blame you for the past
and for the present.
But you still wont see what I see.
You don't know where I'm going
or where I'm coming from.
You see only 5 five around you
and you keep it that way.
Is my struggle any of your concern?
I've listened, I've advise, I've encouraged
while you sat in silence.
I don't hate you
but,
you fucking disappoint me
friend.

Tying Ends

You think I don't but,
I do.
And when you wont
I will not make you

Maybe you think I can't but,
I can.
And when you see it
will you notice?

It seems I never will but,
I always have.
And if it makes a difference
I will not stop.

Will you?

None.

I remember what the old man said
as he shook in subtle intoxication
"the more you smile, the more people you attract."
And he sipped his wine once again
I followed with my eyes

have a bit of this
golden red apple.


don't you want to try?

Little Thoughts

Small child you worry me

talking about your new dreams

singing songs that you don't mean

and you will never understand

ashes burn or are they lit?

we all fall back down

stand back up and we sing again

to favor dreadful sounds

Smaller child you trouble me

buried in your brand new world

answer me when you are free

and maybe you will understand

killer queen is the big bee

she is troubled too

and if you're sweet then she will sting

. . . . .

Everyday the sun rises to start a new day
maybe I should start doing the same.
I've been sleeping away
until the late afternoon comes.
Lazy
and comfortable in the fact that
I am.
Unlike the sun
I don't give gifts of shadows.
I have my own to keep.
You carry yours around
attached to your ankles.
Incomplete.

Us

I hear you crying
I see the pain
I feel your weakness

You have the words
You feel the pain
You stay strong

I break slow
I start to tear
I fall apart

You rebuild
You move on
You figure it all out

I rebuild
I realize
I regret

You grow up
You fly away
You meet your match

I discover
I deserve
I don't

G and an H

It was difficult at first

but now i can see things that are far away 

I can tell some girls to fuck off

at least in my head

and others to come close

I can flip a coin and catch it without looking

all while thinking i'm the shit

no one can take this from me

unless i was sleeping

but i keep my eyes wide open now-a-days

I fantasize way more than I ought to

i ought to fantasize about more interesting things

like where i'll be in 5 years

or what makes me happy on rainy days like tomorrow

i guess it's not what i ought to

i guess it's what i am 

wednesday

I got this dog on my lap. He's growling at ghost. There's no one outside of the car. He's just anxious, like me. I rolled up the window to shut him up. He just stares out the window. Glancing back at me occasionally. Comfortable in his tiny red and orange jacket, he watches cars drive by. Me, in my brick pattern, blackish sweatshirt. I'm here waiting for the clock to strike two. My hair shaggy because I didn't liberate yesterday away in the shower this morning. Not giving a fuck about the mom, the kids, the dad, the stepdad. The people who basically own my dignity. They wash away their grief in prayer. They bathe in holy water. They believe the world is theirs to shape alone. Me, not giving a fuck, I just want to get paid. This dog on my lap belongs to them. He doesn't pray, he doesn't want more than what he has. All he wants is to bark at people passing by, and maybe he'll be rewarded with his name being shouted out in efforts to quiet his warnings. I care more about this dog than I do this family. Cause he's not a bullshitter. He's not a liar. He doesn't flaunt his life around like a hooker displays her goods. I got this dog on my lap. He's trying real hard to sleep. I guess watching cars is more exhausting than I thought.

13

So where did I leave off..?

oh yes, I remember...


I was driving home, stereo blasting, my voice flat, on key, flat, on key, flat. I screamed and shouted along to the words. I kept myself in context. In between solo's I noticed that there was nothing more than that moment. Hollering loud next to the Honda zooming by. I didn't care. This was my moment. This was my song. This was 5 or 6 guys that came together and wrote the best damn rock and roll just for me. True love through my speakers. Bliss at my fingertips. I was just singing along. Screaming along.