Truth

I still think of you.
Your voice is in the air.
Spring is your song.
I sing alone.
I sing along.
Photo's tell me stories
you're getting by
tying knots on your blouse
not for me.
I miss the dogs and the cats
the way you looked at me sometimes.
I'm not miserable but,
I could be.
I'm not understandable but,
I can understand.
I'm not honest at times but,
I can be.
Sometimes
more than dying
life can scare you
to death.

Mad Man

Monster in the house
Monkey in the middle
Skeleton in the closet.
Ghost in the mirror.
Love in a shell.
Heaven in hell.
Horror in the light.
Terror in the day.
Open in the shut.
Up in the down.
Goes in the around.
Poison in the water.
Trouble in the sound.
Wicked in the witch.
Fire in the water.
Starting in the ending.
Laughing in the crying.
Life in the dying.
Sorrow in the sighing.
Fall in the flying.
New in the newness.
Old in the future.
Smart in the idiot.
Cold in the heat.
Rhythm in the beat.
Vegetable in the meat.
Gums in the teeth.
Bullets in the gun.
Color in the absence of color.
Mother in the absence of Mother.
Father in the lack of a Father.
Lover in the absence of a Lover.
Brother in the absence of a Sister.
Hollow in the absence of full.
Empty in the non-sense of everything that will fit inside.
Trouble in the alley, down the block, around the corner.
Hiding in the walls away from the world and the animals it breeds.
Trembling in the shadows looking, now creating an escape to the outside.
Now in the real world, ready to make entrance, ready to start some trouble.
You in the other dimension with me, seeing what I see, feeling what I feel, turning false into real.
Me in the reality that this will never be real and I have to feel this so that I can show you that I can and become who I already am.
A Mad Man.

Inner Thoughts

"Who are you?"
It only takes a moment to ask
But you never ask.
You've never asked.
And all my life I've been waiting
with out realizing it's all I want
from you or anyone else.
You say you don't know who I am anymore
This makes two of us,
one of you.
You've split me down the middle
I walk in two shoes.
I sing the sorrow of the blues
and burn with the fire red.
Love is buried deep in me
my love for you
Burning inside, crawling out of the grace
Out of the grave.
Sometimes I wonder why
I say what I say.
I've been trying since awakening to do what's right
but you leave me left out.

So I'm the liar. So I'm the disguise. The view behind your eyes for the problems that you seek. The cause of the pain, the hunger, and the worry. So I am the prodigal son. So I return time and time again. So I'm met without a smile. I'm met without a hug or a love that will hold me close. Frowns without wedding gowns only children that bring you down driving you crazy. Round and round. This room is a dance. I hate the way it feels. I want mine. I want my own. So I'll have it. I'll be the man. I'll be my own. All I need is the cash. Forever and now. Flame to ash. In my hands. The world is a teardrop running down your face. I fought for this. I fight for my escape. This is the world. I'm breaking through the walls. Taking the guilt and slapping it in the face. I'll have my way out. You can thank me when I'm gone, Mom.